Ristorante Pizza Speciale (Dr. Oetker)

I was in Sainsburys again and thought I'd try a Dr. Oetker frozen pizza. I remember the advert from ages ago, a couple sat at an Italian restaurant-style table on the middle of a bridge or something. Strange. Stranger still is the fact I remembered it. Anyway here's what the Doc has to say about his pizza:

"Experience the taste of an Italian Pizzeria with our thin and crispy, Italian-style pizza; deliciously topped with salami, ham, mushrooms and Gouda cheese. Why not try some of our other delicious varieties."

Oh Doc Ock, you should have stuck to being a Spider-Man villain because your pizzas kinda suck. Sorry. I can tell you're trying your hardest but they just don't cut it. Cheap tasting topping, cheap tasting ultra-thin base and only 330 grams makes for a disappointing experience.

Still gets a pizza rating of 5/10 because I drank loads of wine while eating it and I'm feeling generous.